Chapter 2
The door to door salesman
So back in the nineteen fifties people bought all kind of
things from door to door salesmen. It was a time when milkmen would still
deliver milk right to your back door. I remember the Helms bakery truck on our
street and of course the Good Humor ice cream truck. My mother, Norma bought
stainless steel cookware from a door to door salesman. She also bought us the
1956 World Book encyclopedia. Something every kid needed at the time. Just a
few years later of course the information was out dated and not of much value.
Just like life, valuable information one minute of little use the next. The pictures were fun to look at. Of course we bought many items from the famous
Fuller Brush salesman. She almost bought
me an accordion once from a fast talking salesman. I’m glad she passed on that
one.
She never got permission from my father for anything she
ever bought. And boy, was he pissed when he got the bill for $319 for the
stainless steel cook ware. A lot of
money for my poor old dad to cough up back in 1955. I bet the encyclopedias
wasn’t cheap either.
The thing about my father was, he probably was the most
pussy whipped man on the planet. In fact if you look up the word “pussy
whipped” in the dictionary, it has a picture of my father’s face there.
In 1952 my mother bought something really strange from a
door to door sells person. No one was expecting it, for sure. It was a
religion. This turn out to be very expensive. The cost of which turned out to be hundreds
of thousands of dollars. Even though she has been dead for over thirty years
it’s a bill that her children, grandchildren and her great grandchildren are
still paying for till this day. Yep, the gift that keeps on giving.
The first Jehovah’s Witnesses my mother ever met looked pretty
innocent. They were two sweet little old ladies knocking on our door on a warm
Saturday morning in Azusa, California. They had quite a story to tell my mother.
A story that made my mother quake with fear. A story that confirmed my mother’s
worst fears. The ladies pulled out their bibles and showed her scripture after
scripture that showed her that Satan the devil was in charge of everything here
on Earth. He was in control of all the
governments, churches and businesses. They showed her how bad people are, by reading to her second Timothy,
third chapter, were it said “But know this, that in the last days grievous
times shall come. For men shall be lovers of self, lovers of money,
boastful, haughty, revilers, disobedient to parents, unthankful,
unholy, without natural affection, implacable, slanderers, without
self-control, fierce, no lovers of good, traitors, headstrong, puffed up,
lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; holding a form of godliness,
but having denied the power therefore. From these also turn away.”
My poor mom, she looked like someone had just shot her dog. She knew in her heart they were right about
how bad people really are. She felt this
way for many years. Yes, the world was a terrible place. She knew this ever since
she was eight years old. She knew this right after her mother died trying to
give herself an abortion with a coat hanger in Kansas farm house in the winter
of 1934. After which her father shipped her and her brothers off to live with
different relatives. She knew this ever since her drunken seventy year old
grandfather came into her bedroom late one night and sexually abused her after
her mother was dead for just one month.
The old ladies could
see it in her face. They had found one of “god’s sheep.” They got a gleam in
their eye. It was time for the close. It was time give her the good news. What
was the good news after scaring the shit out of my poor mom? The good news they
told her is god was really pissed too. So much so that very soon he would be
coming down here with his son and kicking some serious ass. How much ass would
be kicked? Billions of people would soon
be dead. However, more good news, she
and just a few others could be saved. Yes, she could save herself and her
family if she joined god’s people. She needed to join god’s people and spread
the word about the coming destruction of the vast majority of mankind. Time was
running out back in 1952. It was time to spread the good news! They sold my
mother two magazines for 10 cents and left. They would be coming back to study
the bible with her every week at no charge. This home bible study was a course completely
free. That just shows you how nice they are. There was a bill of course but it came
much later.
Anyway they started off studying the bible with the help of
numerous bible study aids. The most popular one at that time was the “Let God
Be True” book. Bible study aids are needed because the bible needs help to
really understand it. It really needs some aids. The little old ladies informed my mother
“That the bible can be very vague in places so the aids can help you and point
you in the right direction.”
I found out years later that there are over
20,000 different Christian sects in the world. I wonder if they all have “bible
study aids” too. Aids to point you in the 20,000 different directions you can
go in trying to figure out the mind of god and what the Bible is really trying
to say. Wow! 20,000 different concepts of what the
Bible really means. What’s interesting is the vast
majority of these churches feel they have the only true way to god.
The aids explained to my mother what got god so pissed off
in the first place. It seemed that in the beginning of in creation with Adam
and Eve, Satan challenged god to a contest. He said that given enough time he
could turn everyone on the planet against him. Satan had already won this
contest with Jehovah when he turned the two perfect people created away from
him, Adam and Eve. So god wanted a rematch, so he said sure bring it on. So for
about six thousand years Jehovah and Satan have been fighting over who could
get the most followers. Now the time is almost up. Very soon the ladies said
the “very great day of god the almighty was coming. The great war of Armageddon.”
The war between god and man. The funny thing about this war, was god was going
to kill billions of men, women and children because they chose Satan instead of
him. It turns out that there is only about one Jehovah’s Witness to every
thousand people on the planet. So most of the people are not going to make it,
just like in the time of Noah. God’s answer to this huge loss in the popular
vote is to kill off all those who are not for him. If you read the bible this
has been going on since the beginning of time. One of the biggest causes of
death on the planet is god.
However, Armageddon will be the granddaddy of all massacres
on the planet. I say massacres because no one can fight against god. It will just
be god wiping out mankind. So what happens to Satan then? He gets death too or
even torture? Nope, god has a better idea, he going to put him prison for a
thousand years. Most of mankind dies and Satan lives? Yep, it seems god has
another plan for him. God likes to test people. So after a thousand years god
is going to let him out of jail. He needs to test all his perfect people again.
If you choose correctly you get everlasting life with the rest of god’s people.
If you choose incorrectly you get squashed like a cockroach. This seems like a
no brainer. But according to the Bible a big percentage of people would really
die then live with god’s people for eternity. I wonder why?
It was six months of hard studying for my mother to get this
all straight. Getting inside the mind of god is not easy stuff.
Anyway after a few weeks of studying the bible with her new
friends, it was time to meet the rest of the congregation. I didn’t remember
the first meeting we went to. I was too
young but I heard about it years later. Yes, everyone “Love bombed” my mother.
What is love bombing? It goes like this. You go to their Kingdom Hall. That is
what the Jehovah’s Witnesses call their meeting place. You are introduced to many different people
with smiling faces.
“Norma this is Sister Jones.”
“Norma we are so happy you are here.”
“I love your baby Norma, just call be Brother White.”
You get the idea. Everyone loves you. We are all brothers
and sisters in god’s big happy family.
My mother finally found a home. A real home with people who
really liked her. After years of being an outsider and with no real family
around at least ones she liked, she got her adapted family finally.
She never asked my baby sister and me if we wanted to join Mom’s
new family. She of course didn’t consult my pussy wiped father either.
They say everything in life is timing. It’s so true. Timing
is everything! Ask any salesmen.
There is a story about a man in New York City who is of average
age and build, nothing special to look at. He spends all day walking up and
down Madison Ave. He walks up to 150 to 200 women a day. He looks them straight
in the eye and asks them. “Do you want to fuck?” And yes, his face gets
slapped. He gets cursed at. There is a lot of upset women after that rude
question. He also has sex with two or three of these women a day who like his
question. He said in an interview “some of these women were gorgeous.” He also
said. “It’s all about timing and persistence.”
What is the purpose of this story? I guess to illustrate the
concept that no matter how wacky or strange an idea can be, if you talk to
enough people there is always a few whack jobs out there that think it’s a great
idea. Yes, it’s the good old spaghetti
principle, you throw spaghetti against the wall some sticks but most of it
doesn’t.
My mom needed a family besides ours and she finally got it.
The two little old ladies timing was perfect.
The timing is everything. My good old Mom and Dad proved
that when they met.
[KC1]
